Tag Archives: Sisters

Therapy Cookies and Suzanne’s Lesson

Therapy Cookies and Suzanne’s Lesson

Back from yet another long trip to Kansas.  This time for the funeral.  A 43 year old vibrant wife and mother of five passed on Valentine’s day.  I really do want to shake my fist and rail at the universe for its injustice to good people.  But, while was mentally considering how to do that without getting struck by lightening or something, I baked cookies. (It’s how I wrap my head around things, I bake)
As it turned out, there was therapy in those cookies as well as the realization that I had just been taught a huge life lesson by my sister, Suzanne.
Abraham Maslow said that we could define therapy as a search for value.
I suppose that defines my thoughts this morning.  I set to work doing my Bygone Basics’ bakery orders (www.bygonebasics.com) with the very recent death of my brother’s wife, Mary, weighing heavy.  Seeking reasons or value to this tragedy.

Toasting the walnuts, tossed with cinamon sugar.

I began by making my special recipe for chocolate cookies.  The first thing was to create small walnut pieces out of whole walnuts.  I will admit to excessive force.  The walnuts were cracked with some malice.  Then I put the walnuts in a heavy plastic bag and whammed the heck out of them with a french rolling pin. …Beginning to feel a bit better.  🙂
Next, everything needed to be measured out.  The flour, rolled oats, chocolate chips, butter, eggs, spices….By the time I was finished, the concentration on accurate measurement had actually taken my mind to a better place.  Of course tasting fresh cookie dough helps too.

By the time the cookies were going on the cookie sheets and being baked, I was thinking more deeply about the recent events.  My brother had chosen an unusal passage for his wife’s funeral service.  It began “Rejoice Always.  …In all circumstances, give thanks,…” (Thes 5:16-24).  He had explained that when he was at his lowest point, when it was obvious Mary was slipping away, he heard this passage at Church.  It angered him at first, and then, it served to bring him out of a very angry and dark place.  It caused him to look around and find that there was still good in his life.  His children especially.  His family was brought close by this.What did I have to rejoice in?

What gift has Mary’s passing given me?

The example set by my sister, Suzanne.  Not too long ago, she lost her own husband to cancer at 41 with a young son at home.  It was a long and hard path to (and from) his passing.  She endured a lot that I can’t even imagine.  Yet, there she was, the first one to understand that our brother was alone several states away and needed help.  Placing her job in jeapardy, she made two extended trips to help him.  I was blessed to go with her.  Even though it caused her to relive her own deep pain, she cared for our sister-in-law with such depth and consideration.  She talked with our brother on a level that only those two could understand.  She cried at night and was a pillar in the day.  She made sure our young nieces had what they needed.

I loved my sister before.  But now, I rejoice in the heart and soul of such an amazing woman.  Her selfless example of care will live on in me and in my priorities in life.

Add the oats, toasted walnuts and chocolate chips

Such was Suzanne’s lesson for me.

I feel better.  The cookies are baked.  I’ve had a bit of an epiphany.  I even went on to get my french baquette order done and restarted the Sourdough starter.

…..Heck, I might even feel like doing my blog.  Hope I don’t get to philisophical…..  😉

By the way…Did I ever tell you that I have started to “Tweet”?  Find me at @ApronsRUs.  (Yes, it is an odd twitter name, sometimes, I just can’t help myself…my humor is a bit …quirky.)

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